


Come Back to Me

by Justaroundthatriverbend



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Guilt, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Non-Consensual Violence, Red Kryptonite, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-09-16 14:14:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9275687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justaroundthatriverbend/pseuds/Justaroundthatriverbend
Summary: When Kara is exposed to Red Kryptonite and Lena is used as DEO bait, trust is broken.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've always found Red Kryptonite Kara to be an incredibly compelling concept. I've seen this dynamic played with before but I thought I'd give it a try.

Kara rolled over in bed, sighing gently into the luxury of Lena’s cotton sheets. She was still not used to their softness, despite having spent the multiple nights sleeping in them. They smelled of freshness, likely from the detergent Lena uses, and faintly of the Luthor. Though she might be the only one able to perceive that. Kara took another deep breath that turned into a hiss when she felt two freezing feet sneak their way under her calves.

Without opening her eyes, she muttered, “Take those feet back or we’re going to have a problem.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lena’s voice was light and tinged with the drowsiness of the morning.

Kara opened her eyes to find heavy kryptonian orbs gazing back at her. Lena gave her a small smile to which Kara simply flexed her calves in response. Lena’s brows raise pitifully.

“But they’re cold.”

The blonde can’t hold back her giggle at the behavior of her girlfriend. She leaned forward, capturing the other woman in a languid kiss. Reaching out, Kara pulled Lena close, sharing her warmth and running her fingers through those dark tresses.

After a few moments, Lena rolled on top of Kara, pulling back from their kiss, ever so slightly. She stared at her love with a gentle smirk gracing her full lips.

“What?” Kara questions.

“I know what we could do to warm up.”

Kara smirked at the hint and flipped them over gently. Lena loves how careful Kara always is around her. Despite knowing that Kara could snap her like a twig, the Luthor has never felt uneasy or nervous around her. The journalist always took care to ask if she was comfortable and never pushed Lena too far. In fact, often times the CEO would have to demonstrate the speed and forcefulness of how she wished to be touched before Kara would make any assumptions.

This time was no different as Kara lightly kissed Lena’s neck, nipping occasionally, but immediately soothing the skin with her tongue. A gentle groan escaped her. The raven-haired woman relaxed into the ministrations, taking comfort in Kara’s tender touch. As Kara’s lips began to move down Lena’s lithe body, a phone began to ring.

Lena’s eyes fell closed with a sigh. It was Kara’s phone and at this early hour, it was likely Alex. She opened her eyes to see Kara conflicted, not wanting to leave Lena unsatisfied, but also unable to completely disregard the ringing. Lena nodded gently and tilted her head toward the sound. Kara gingerly leapt from the bed to answer the call.

Lena could only hear half the conversation, but she knew their _activities_ would have to wait before Kara even hung up.

“Okay. Okay. Tell them I’ll be right there… No, no I was, um, I was just sleeping.”

Lena looked down. She knew that Kara still hadn’t told Alex about them, but it still stung to be so openly denied. She understood how terrifying Alex could be, but for God sake, Kara was Supergirl. The least she could do was have enough courage to tell her sister that she was dating a Luthor.

Lena felt the bed dip and she looked up. Kara’s kind eyes are crinkled with a sympathetic smile.

“I’m sorry but I’ve got to go. Duty calls.” Kara reached out to grab Lena’s hand, pressing light kisses to her knuckles. “I’m going to tell her soon, I promise.”

Lena leaned forward to place a careful kiss on the corner of Kara’s mouth.

“Stay safe. Make it back to me, Kara.”

Kara stood, moving quickly throughout Lena’s penthouse, like it’s second nature. It is second nature at this point.

Lena listened for the balcony to open, allowing the sounds of the city to pour into the living room. The chaos below offering her an invitation to begin her day.

-           -           -           -           -           -           -           -           -           -           -           -           -          

Lena glanced at the time. It was the late afternoon now and her usual lunch date never flew by to see her so she assumes that Supergirl has had a busy day. Not wanting to bother her while she works, Lena planned to call her girlfriend when she’s on her way home from the office to discuss having dinner. She recalled their interrupted morning activities and she sighs. Lena hopes to finish that as well.

She made a few more stray remarks on reports just sent up from the lab. She was pleased that her technicians are making such amazing progress on their respective projects. As she worked through their documents, Lena only found a few small errors that can be shored up quickly. She noted them directly on the documents so that she may deliver them to the labs herself and discuss any concerns with her technicians directly.

When taking over Luthor Corp and transforming it into L-Corp, she had been happy to have a hands-on approach in the labs. She missed the lab work she completed during her education and occasionally she did enjoy getting her hands dirty. Lena also appreciated the level of accountability that came with being actively involved in her laboratory proceedings. She makes a personal note to take a trip to visit the various labs at the end of the week.

As she finished up the last of the reports, the door to her office swung open abruptly. Lena immediately stood, guarded to the intrusion. Alex Danvers entered, followed by a deeply apologetic Jess.

“I’m so sorry Ms. Luthor! I tried to get her to stop-”

“It’s alright Jess. You may leave us.”

Jess quickly scurried out of the office. Poor girl. She had never had to deal with so many unwelcome visitors in her entire life.

Lena took Alex’s appearance in. She was completely disheveled. Her hair was askew and she covered in dirt and what appeared to be blood. She stood crooked like she favored one side of her body.

"What’s going on? Is Kara alright?”

Alex shook her head. “No she’s not. There’s been an incident.”

“An incident? What kind of incident? What’s going on?”

“Lena, listen to me, we don’t have much time. Kara was exposed to Red Kryptonite, a substance that greatly alters her psychology, turning her into the literal antithesis of what she stands for. The D.E.O attempted to contain her but she escaped, injuring many agents in the process.”

Lena covered her mouth with her hand. She felt like she could be ill.

“We haven’t found her yet, but the last time this got into her system, she caused mayhem in the city. You know Kara, if she hurts anyone, it’ll crush her. You and I may not see eye to eye, but Kara seems to be quite fond of your friendship. Enough to tell you her secret.”

Lena would laugh if the situation wasn’t so dire. _Friendship._ If only Alex knew.

 “Because of your lack of involvement in the D.E.O. We think you may be the next person she visits. We need your help.”

“Of course. Absolutely, anything you need.”

“You just need to keep her talking. Keep her in here until we get our units in place. We’ll take her down and get her to safety. Just keep her in your office.”

“Okay. Yes. I can do that.”

“The D.E.O thanks you.” Alex turned to leave but suddenly stopped with her hand on the door. “And Ms. Luthor?”

“Yes?”

"This isn’t Kara.”

Then Lena was alone. She attempts to calm her heartbeat, but it races out of control. She sat back at her desk and pretended to work on more reports. She mindlessly scribbled on the margins, completely unfocused.

Alex had said Kara would be the antithesis of what she stood for. Lena couldn’t even imagine what that looked like on her sweet, dorky Kara. She took another breath to calm her hyperactive nerves.

Within minutes, Lena heard the familiar plop of shoes landing on her balcony. Kara, still dressed as Supergirl, slowly stepped into her office with a firm smile etched onto her face. Kara bent down to place a kiss on Lena’s lips before fully walking into the office.

“Hello Kara.”

“I’m sorry I missed lunch. I had some business to attend to.”

Lena stood, shrugging. “That’s alright. I was thinking about making us dinner tonight. Would you enjoy that?”

“That sounds lovely.” Kara smiled. Its nature unnerved Lena, but she remained composed as Kara slowly stepped forward. “Do you know what else I’d love?”

Kara kissed Lena, gripping first at her dress and then finding a hold on her hips. This kiss was different from others the couple had shared. Kara was always gentle and slow with Lena, allowing her to guide them. But this kiss was bruising and fast. Lena sank into the foreign feeling, mindlessly allowing a deep moan to form in her throat. Kara moved a hand from Lena’s hip to firmly grasp her face in an attempt to deepen the kiss.

Lena pulled away, breathless. “Not here, Kara. I’m at work.”

“We’ll be quiet. Come on, it’ll be exciting!”

Kara didn’t wait for a response, moving closer to Lena once more and beginning an assault on her neck. Lena’s hands searched for the edge of her desk to steady herself. A gasp escaped her lips as Kara bit down harshly on the tender flesh over her collarbone. No tongue soothed the stinging skin as alarms began to ring in Lena’s head. She attempted to wiggle out of Kara’s grasp, but she just roughly groped at Lena’s ass, fingers easily making bruises, pushing the fabric of her dress up. The blonde’s fingers danced along the hem of her underwear as Lena panicked. Where was Alex?

“Kara, stop.” Lena moved her hand to push back on Kara’s shoulder, but she remained unmoved. “Kara, please stop. I don’t- not here. Kara stop, you’re hurting me!”

Lena firmly pushed Kara back and although she did not step away, it was clear she had received the message.

“Why must it always be about you, Lena?” Kara’s eyes flashed a dangerous red. “Why don’t you ever think about me?”

“What are you talking about Kara?”

Lena knows this isn’t Kara, but she still felt the tears swell in her eyes. She reaches out to take Kara’s hand, but she jerked it away. Kara was yelling now.

“It’s always about you Lena! All of it. What does Lena want? When does Lena want it? How does Lena want it? What about me? I’m always so careful with you and I get nothing in return! You only think of yourself. I come in here wanting to have just a little bit of fun with you and you won’t have it!”

Lena can’t stop the tears now. They flowed freely down her face as Kara’s words cut so cruelly.

“Kara this isn’t you! Please, just calm down. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“As soon as I bring up the notorious self-centered nature of you Luthors, now I don’t know what I’m saying? Unbelievable.”

“What?”

“All you Luthors are the same. You’re the same as your brother and your mother. You’re all so selfish and absolutely insane. Your entire family is so evil! All they want to do is bring pain, and you’re no different.”

Viciously Kara grabbed her arms. The pressure caused Lena to wince, but she couldn’t break from the grip while the blonde continued to speak. Lena was afraid, but she didn’t know how to combat Kara. She was so much stronger than the CEO.

“You get some sort of sick pleasure out of bedding a Super. You probably ran to your mother and told her every detail, hoping she’d be proud that her whore of a daughter finally did something worthwhile. You’re all the same.”

Lena slapped Kara across the face. She immediately felt the bones in her hand crack and the brunette sank to her knees in pain, shaking. Kara stood over her, eyes gleaming, before turning away.

“You’re pathetic Lena Luthor.”

The office suddenly erupted in a flash of bright red as a beam from the balcony struck Kara directly in the chest. Falling backwards she hit the ground, briefly gasping for air. A calm settled over her body before she fell unconscious.

Multiple agents entered the room almost immediately. Alex was among them. She went straight for Lena, gathering her up from the floor and leading her away from the scene.

The CEO cradled her hand and sobbed on the way to the hospital. Alex was silent aside from a few quiet assurances that everything was going to be okay. Lena eventually composed herself enough to talk to doctors to receive treatment for her broken bones.

Alex drove Lena back to her penthouse in downtown National City. She escorted her upstairs and upon arriving at the door, remained largely silent as Lena fumbled with her key. Eventually she managed to get the door open and with a quick glance toward Alex, she stepped through the doorway.

“Lena?”

The Luthor turned to look at her.

“I didn’t know the nature of your relationship. I really didn’t. I had no way of knowing that’s how things would go. I didn’t account for that and I’m sorry.”

Lena looked away and said, “She was going to tell you. Goodnight Alex.” The door gently closed behind her.

-           -           -           -           -           -           -           -           -           -           -           -          

“Is she still sleeping?” Alex asked immediately upon entering the medical bay of the D.E.O.

The doctor nodded his head. “For now, yes. However, I expect she’ll be awake any moment now.”

Slowly, Alex entered the room where her baby sister lied. She took a seat next to Kara and brushed a few strands of hair from her face. She ran her hand through blonde locks a few times, just like Eliza used to do when they were children. 

Kara stirred, her blue eyes fluttering open slowly. Confusion was present on her face as she analyzed her surroundings. She bolted straight up, causing her sister to jump. Alex gently urged her to lay back down, but Kara fought her.

“No. No. No! Alex, I have to see her!” Kara was crying, her eyes full of panic and clear. “I have to see her Alex. Oh no.”

“I personally escorted her back to her penthouse, Kara. She is safe. I promise. She’s safe.”

Staring into the lights of the medical bay, Kara choked out a sob. “Alex, what have I done? I’m a monster. I was so awful. I couldn’t control myself. I couldn’t stop it. I would never-but I did. What have I done?”

Alex wrapped her in an embrace, running a hand over her back. She rocked her gently back and forth.

“I wish you would have told me Kara. I _never_ would have put her in this position had I known about you. I am so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault Alex. You didn’t know because I didn’t tell you.”

Kara continued to cry, only composing herself when the doctors said she could go. She bid Alex farewell and told her that she needed to see Lena. Alex was apprehensive, having seen Lena in the aftermath of the day’s events, but didn’t offer up any opposition to her sister’s decision.

Kara didn’t use the balcony this time around, opting for a more traditional approach. She climbed the stairs of Lena’s building, using the time to try to think of something to say. Her mind was so numb from the day’s events that she reached the penthouse without coming up with a single sentence.

After slight hesitation, she knocked gently on the door, not wanting to wake Lena if she already slept. She listened closely and heard feet approaching the door. Kara stepped back from the door, allowing plenty of space between her and the person who stood behind it. The feet stopped and there was a pause. No doubt Lena was looking through the peephole while she contemplated opening the door. She was always contemplating, always thinking.

Kara’s heart sinks when she hears Lena’s footsteps retreat from the door. They’re slow and careful as they fade.

A soft “I’m sorry” reaches Kara’s ears and she wanted to respond but she knew she wasn’t supposed to hear it in the first place.

Kara wanted more than anything to wrap her arms around Lena and hold her close. She wanted to apologize for everything that she’s put her through. Sliding down the wall next to Lena’s door, Kara’s head fell to her knees. She’d wait there forever. Until Lena is ready to open the door, she’d wait.

It wasn’t over. It couldn’t be.


	2. An Apology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The response to this fic was so enthusiastic that I felt obligated to write a follow up.

Cold seeped into the soles of Lena’s feet as she placed them on her floor. She looked to the window to see the sun already making its journey across the sky. It was already late into the morning, though the exhaustion Lena felt would be more fitting with an early rise.

She had already called Jess to let her know that she wouldn’t be coming into the office today. Lena’s body ached in so many places. Still bandaged and in a brace, her hand throbbed softly. A blistering headache had settled behind her eyes and at her temples, no doubt from the all the crying she did yesterday.

The brunette stood, swaying slightly. She journeyed into the bathroom to take a shower. Avoiding mirrors, she stripped of her pajamas and undid the brace on her hand before stepping into the stream of hot water.

She ran a hand over her nude form, mentally noting the places that were sensitive, even to her own touch. Some spots were so sore that even a slight brush of her fingertips caused the Luthor to hiss.  Lena’s neck was dreadfully sore and a few spots on her hips and ass ached dully. The steam of her shower encouraged her mind to wander to the cause of such pain, but Lena couldn’t bear to think of her.

She stayed under the stream until the water began to gradually cool. She gently dried herself and brushed through her hair before pulling it into a loose bun at the crown of her head. Wrapping a towel around her body, she began to walk back to her bedroom but not before her reflection caught her eye.

Lena turned toward the woman in the mirror. Her reflection was paler than she remembered. Perhaps it was the contrast between her ivory complexion and the deep purple bruises along her neck and jaw line that made it stand out.

Letting the towel fall to the floor in a heap, Lena studied the remainder of her body. The pure, white expanse of her skin is uninterrupted until her eyes reach her hips where many small bruises paint the surface of her skin. She turned, catching a glimpse of the fingermark bruises that blemish her backside before quickly looking away, while fighting back tears. Grabbing for her towel again, she hurried into her bedroom to find something to cover up with.

The Luthor emerged from her bedroom a few minutes later and entered her kitchen. She began to brew a pot of coffee when she remembered an event from last night that almost felt like a dream. She wasn’t even sure it happened but the possibility drew her to her front door.

Rising on her toes, Lena looked through the peephole to the hall outside. Straight ahead there was nobody but as she glanced down, she saw a pair of feet. Adjusting her position, she got a good look at a sleeping Kara Danvers. As she rested against a wall, her knees were drawn up with her head laying upon them.

Kara looked peaceful and Lena simply stared at her for a few moments. She appeared so different from how she had yesterday in Lena’s office. She looked so fragile and vulnerable curled up on the ground outside of her door, but Lena knew better. Kara wasn’t fragile by any means, she was indestructible. Lena’s hand had tested that much.

Kara could kill Lena if she ever wanted to. And while Lena never doubted that Kara would never want to hurt her, maybe one day Supergirl would. Sure, they were the same person, but the responsibilities laid at their feet were so different. Kara had to create flawless and intriguing reports while keeping her bosses happy. Supergirl had to protect an entire city against people who passionately wanted her dead. Supergirl was exposed to things that could potentially make her dangerous to those she vowed to protect while Kara was not. That made them two different people.

Lena loved Kara with everything in her. She loved the way her dork always tried to make everyone happy. Kara loved so deeply and wanted so much to belong and feel at peace with who she was. She loved the reporter who had come into her office with wide eyes and a look of awe. She loved the friend who didn’t immediately run when she found out that she was the only friend Lena had.  She loved that woman. 

Lena had idolized Supergirl. She was everything that Lena had ever wanted to be. She was force for good and very few doubted that. People saw Supergirl and trusted her to take care of them. Lena had always wanted that. But Lena couldn’t idolize Supergirl anymore because fear had overtaken her. She thought of Supergirl and a chill clawed its way up her spine. Supergirl was all-powerful but not so strong that she couldn’t be changed. Her values, her vision, her light were all characteristics that could be manipulated to serve a purpose, a plan. They could change with Supergirl, against Supergirl, and that thought terrified Lena.

So, as Lena looked through her peephole at the girl she loved, she knew there was someone she feared buried deep within her. And beneath Kara’s fragile frame, a war waged between pride and shame. She was proud to be Supergirl, but she was also ashamed of some of the things the cape had made her do. Lena only saw this battle in glimpses but she knew it was there.

Despite knowing that Supergirl was living within Kara’s frame, Lena only saw Kara in her hall. It was Kara out there hurting, not some superhero. It was for this reason alone that Lena unlocked the door and pulled it open.

Kara startled on the ground, quickly looking up at Lena. Her blue eyes blinked away confusion and replaced it with recognition.

“Lena, I-”

“Come inside, I’m making some coffee.”

Lena held the door open as Kara made her way inside the penthouse. The blonde was sure to keep a healthy distance between them, not wanting to threaten Lena. Grabbing two coffee mugs from her cupboard, Lena placed them in front of Kara who was seated at the island. She returned to the kitchen to grab flavored creamer for Kara and sugar for herself. Lena brought the pot of coffee over.

“Lena, I want to apologize for what happened.” Kara’s blue eyes pierced Lena’s green ones. “You should never have been placed in that situation. I’m so sorry.”

“You scared me.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t know.”

“I know that I was aggressive and cruel to you and-.” Kara reached out to take Lena’s hand but the brunette snatched it away.

“You don’t understand.” Lena swallowed the lump in her throat, fighting to keep her voice clear. “I have gone against everything I’ve ever known to be with you. Every fiber of my upbringing screamed at me to stay away from you! I was always told to not trust you and I was told to fear you. And yesterday I was so scared! I was so scared that they were right all along!”

Tears sprang free from her emerald eyes, rolling down her cheeks. Lena turned away, placing one hand on her hip and the injured one on her brow.

“Lena, what can I do?”

“I don’t know, Kara. I don’t know how I can trust you.”

“Slowly. It doesn’t have to be today or tomorrow, but just give me a chance to prove to you. Please.”

 Lena’s heart felt like it could shatter. She wanted to give Kara another opportunity but the fear of another betrayal pierced her so deeply. She felt like she was slowly being pulled into two, a war between head and heart. Blue met green once again and suddenly Lena’s heart won again. She couldn’t say no.

Lena nodded slowly letting her hands fall gently onto the countertop. Kara reached gently for it, slowly taking her uninjured hand into her own. Lena sank into the warmth of her palms before pulling herself away.

“I’ll see Kara, but I can’t see Supergirl.”

Kara nodded vigorously. “Of course, not until you’re ready.”

Lena wasn’t sure that day would ever arrive, but she was willing to try. After all, love always made Luthors weak.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I'd love some more feedback if you're interested. I may write another chapter. This was just a quick follow up since the response was so great. Thanks again.


	3. A Struggle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set several months in advance.

Kara’s journey to redemption started simply enough. Over the next few months, Kara began to build back Lena's trust by first becoming her friend again. She'd bring lunch over to her office where they'd eat and spend time together. They did that several days a week and it became like a ritual to decompress about the first half of their day.

Kara was always careful to keep Supergirl's affairs out of their discussions. Since Lena had given her another chance, they hadn't brought up the topic. She assumed that the brunette would talk about it when she was ready, but until then Kara just assumed it was still a sensitive issue.

Eventually, lunch dates evolved into dinner dates where Lena was reminded of Kara’s immense appetite. She had found it endearing until she realized why her appetite was always there. Then the spectacle settled into the pit of her stomach like a rock and stayed there, causing discomfort. It was a constant reminder of another side of Kara that Lena wanted to forget. Sometimes shed turn away when Kara would reach for another potsticker. If she couldn’t see it, it couldn’t bother her, right?

Dinner dates slowly evolved into other types of dates. They went on picnics outside of the city to get some fresh air and some quiet. Lena and Kara both adored museum dates. Lena loved the art while Kara loved the history of it all. She always wanted to learn more about Earth’s past.

Lena would bring Kara to work events whenever she needed a plus one and though they weren't public with the nature of their relationship, Lena could pass it off as keeping the press in her good grace. Kara was able to meet members of the board and gush about Lena constantly to them. She did it purposefully, knowing that some of the members have consistently made Lena’s life a living hell as CEO.  

Kara worked hard to keep her dealings as Supergirl out of the news. She and the DEO felt like less flashy stings would be helpful to improve her public view. Maybe if criminals didn't actively see Supergirl, she wouldn't be targeted as frequently. Alex loved the idea, and worked hard to develop new was the DEO could target criminals that would keep Kara out of the fight until absolutely necessary. 

Kara did this to keep Lena feeling safe. She knew how deeply she had been impacted by the DEO and the dealings of Supergirl and how triggering seeing news reports could be. She worked hard to stay away from news crews and avoided interviews with any magazines. After all, Kara wasn't doing it for the fame, so losing it shouldn't bother her. However, the fact that she did miss the buzz around her was a little concerning. She did all of this for Lena, but she didn't know that Lena hadn't watched the news in months, in fear that she would see Supergirl. She merely read economic journals to keep her business in the know. 

Months after the red kryptonite incident, Lena finally called Kara her girlfriend for the first time. Kara immediately told Alex, not that her older sibling had been in the dark about the rest of their efforts to rekindle what had been lost. Kara simply wanted Alex to know that it was formal now. Alex had been a little apprehensive, given their history, but overwhelmingly supportive. She immediately told Maggie and they collectively organized a few double dates which Kara and Alex genuinely loved. Which meant that Maggie and Lena loved it because the Danvers sisters loved it.

Once Alex knew, Kara wanted to introduce Lena to the other members of the gang by inviting Lena to a game night. She had given the brunette the wrong time, causing her to show up about fifteen minutes late. Before she arrived, Kara had briefed everyone on what they could and could not talk about. Supergirl was not to be mentioned. Most likely assumed that Lena had no idea that Kara was Supergirl and Kara had no problem with letting them believe that. It was easier than having to tell them the truth about what she had done.

Once she had arrived, Lena had made small talk and quickly became a force to be reckoned with. As a team Kara and Lena were an unstoppable force and even though it was something trivial like a game night, it had felt good. The group had relaxed and gotten to know each other while they each shared embarrassing stories about Kara.

Things almost felt perfect again. Almost. Certain parts of their relationship still lacked. Kara held Lena's hand whenever possible because for several months that was all she was able to do. Eventually, after a few months, Lena was able to kiss Kara, usually keeping it pretty light but always leaving her breathless either way. They still hadn't progressed beyond that stage, however, while watching a movie, things had gotten pretty heated as the pair sat on the couch together. 

The movie was long forgotten as Lena's mouth captured Kara's in a heated kiss. Her tongue swept across the blonde’s lips, as if asking for entrance. Kara granted her silent request, her hands finding a hold on her waist. They broke apart, panting. Lena's eyes were blown out, betraying her desire.

“Do you…” Kara trailed off.

“I mean, we could. If you want.”

“It doesn’t matter what I want. Is it what you want?”

Lena didn’t respond immediately, opting to take Kara’s hand and lead her into the bedroom. Kara took a seat on the edge of the bed as Lena moved to straddle her. Lena tangled her hands in blonde tresses, pulling Kara close. Kara pressed her lips up to close the distance between them.

Lena loved the way Kara kissed. Slowly at first and then ravenously, mapping out details and taking notes, leaving no area untouched. Kara’s kissing always left Lena breathless. Gentle lips mapped Lena’s jaw and moved to her neck, lightly sucking her pulse point. Lena whimpered and unconsciously ground down onto Kara. She felt a pair of lips smile against her neck.

Kara gently picked Lena up and pressed her into the sheets, climbing on top of her. She returned to her lover’s lips and once again, claimed them as her own. Kara began to absently lift at the hem of Lena’s shirt, giving her the opportunity to decline, but Lena pulled back slightly to allow the fabric to pass between the lips. The shirt was tossed out of bed and forgotten

Dragging her hands down Lena’s body, she stopped briefly to toy with her over the material of her bra, resulting in Lena arching off the bed. She sought more contact with the blonde. She needed it. Kara tried to put her hands everywhere as her mouth moved down Lena’s chest. Kara felt like she might float away if she didn’t ground herself to this moment, to her love.

Kara’s soft hands tightly gripped Lena’s hips in the exact same spot as she had months ago. Lena would never be able to prove that it was the same spot but she _knew._ Lena knew that months ago, she had bruises from those same fingertips. Suddenly her hands were coming up to push Kara or Supergirl, whoever she was with right now, off her. Kara pulled back, her blue eyes dark and confused.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t-I can’t do this.”

“Alright, we can stop. Let me find your shirt.” She climbed out of the bed to look on the floor for Lena’s blouse. As she got on her hands and knees to look under the bed, she reminded Lena, “We can go back and watch the movie. Or do whatever you want.”

“Can you just stop being nice for one second? You’re making this so much more confusing.”

Kara stopped searching then, and came to sit on her haunches. She looked at Lena with confused eyes and the posture of a puppy.

“Lena, what is going on?

“I don’t know Kara. I love you so much and I want to do this with you again. I miss being physical with you.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“Every time I try, all I see is her!”

“Who are you talking about?”

“Supergirl. All I see is Supergirl and I hate it. She hurt me so deeply and she absolutely terrifies me still, months later. I still have dreams about her and what she could do to me.”

Kara’s brow was furrowed as she listened to Lena. She stood slowly, to avoid startling her girlfriend, and moved to sit on the bed.

“Lena, I’m Supergirl. We aren’t two different people.”

“Yes, you are different. I refuse to believe that you are the same. Because you are so kind and so pure, Kara Danvers and Supergirl is not. She is violent and dangerous.”

“In your office, Lena, that wasn’t me or Supergirl. Neither of us were there. It was only the red kryptonite.”

“No, I know it wasn’t you Kara. I know. But Supergirl.. she can be corrupted and she can be dangerous and that scares me.”

Kara placed her head in her hands. She felt a bubble of frustration rise to the surface, but she pushed it down. Now was not the time for that.

“Lena, so what do you want? You want Kara Danvers and no Supergirl? Because I’m so sorry, but I can’t do that.”

“I don’t know!”

Kara shook her head. She didn’t know how to even approach this. Supergirl ran in her Kryptonian blood, in her Kryptonian veins. Supergirl lied dormant in her Kryptonian youth and kept her safe on her travels to Earth. Supergirl made her an outcast and made her love history. Supergirl made her the fiercely protective dork that she was. Supergirl understood intimately what it was like to be alone, to have no real family. To have no one understand where you called home. Kara thought Lena might have understood, but she didn’t or she wouldn’t have asked Kara to give up that up.

Of course, she understood that this was a coping mechanism, put in place by Lena to ease the trauma of the red kryptonite incident. It was easier to separate Kara and Supergirl and only blame one of them for what happened. Kara knew it would be much harder for Lena if they were the same person in her eyes. Yet, she couldn’t just let Lena go on, thinking that she was somehow keeping Supergirl out of her life by not talking about her.

Kara looked back at Lena. The brunette’s hair was mused and her lipstick slightly smeared. Her eye makeup was not yet steaming, but her misty eyes had left it smudged. She still wore no shirt and she sat in bed, clutching at herself. Looking small and fragile, like Kara had never seen before. She stared at Kara with sad eyes and Kara had to look away to spare her heart.

“Lena, you can’t have me and not have Supergirl. It’s who I am.”

“I can’t have Supergirl, Kara.”

“Then you can’t have me.”

Kara spotted Lena’s blouse, then, on the floor by the entrance to her bathroom. She went and picked up the soft fabric, before handing it back to Lena. She didn’t look at the brunette while doing it. Instead, she moved out of the bedroom and then out of the penthouse entirely. Silently, she moved out of Lena’s life altogether.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading. Feedback is always welcome.


	4. No Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I just stated back up with university. My professors decided to unload on us this week. Tried to hammer this one out between classes.

 “I just don’t know what to do, Alex.”

Kara sat on her sister’s couch with her knees drawn up to her chest. Her body was limp with exhaustion, something she was not used to feeling. The tears of her breakup with Lena had finally subsided and she was simply left with exasperation.

Sitting next to Kara, Alex handed her a mug of hot chocolate. The heat coming from the liquid made the bottoms of Kara’s glasses fog up when she put it to her mouth. 

“I don’t know, Kara. She seems to be in a really bad place.”

“Am I just supposed to leave her there?”

Alex shrugged, “If you are the reason she’s in the bad place, then maybe some distance would be best. You clearly aren’t happy either.”

“Alex, I love her.”

“I know you do, Kara.” Alex put her arm around her sister, bringing her close. “I know you do.”

There was a curt knock on the door. Alex immediately got off the couch to go open it.

“Alex, is that Maggie? Do you want me to go?”

“Kara, please, I just called in some reinforcements.”

“Reinforcements?” The door opened to reveal Winn with a bag in his hand, standing next to James. “Alex..”

She put her hand on her hip as she held open the door. “Oh come on, I know this whole thing with Lena sucks, but you have friends who want to be there for you.”

“Plus I brought pot stickers,” Winn said, holding up the bag and wiggling it a little.

Kara shrugged. “Let the pot stickers in.”

The boys came inside and immediately sat on either side of Kara. She smiled as their arms came to rest behind her.

“What can we do for you?”

“Build a time machine.”

Winn smiled. “Oh that’s actually my next project!”

Kara rolled her eyes. “Oh really?”

“Yeah I was originally building it to go back to the moment you said you weren’t gay and laugh at you, but I suppose there could be other uses for it.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“But you love me!”

James stood up. “Enough of that you two. I’m going to start in on these pot stickers before Kara gets to them.” Kara’s hands was already in the bag by the time James took his first step. “Oh come on Kara.”

There was another knock on the door. While the trio began fighting over food, Alex opened it up to find Maggie leaning against the frame.

“What’s up, babe?”

“Hey!”

Alex leaned in for a quick kiss, but Maggie wrapped her arms around her neck, deepening it.  Alex smiled against her lips and knotted her hands in her girlfriend’s t-shirt, pulling her in close.

A collective groan of disgust erupted from the kitchen.

“Get a room!”

Alex turned, “This is my house!”

Maggie smirked, patting Alex’s shoulder, before fully entering the apartment. She took a seat in the living room with Alex while the others continued their attack on the pot stickers.

"How is she doing?” Maggie asked, nodding toward Kara.

“She’s doing alright, considering what Lena is putting her through.”

“What do you mean?”

Alex scoffed, “Lena is putting Kara in an impossible situation. It’s like she wants to split her in two.”

“I’m a detective, and it’s literally my job to consider things from all angles. So try not to jump down my throat.” Maggie raised her eyebrows, knowing that her statement would mean nothing as she continued, “I think you see that Lena is hurt, but you aren’t validating her pain when you say that she’s being unfair.”

“So you think it’s fair to give Kara an ultimatum like that?”

“I’m not saying that. All I’m saying is that you’re so concerned over how Kara is feeling, that you forget to consider what Lena may be feeling.”

“I can’t believe you’re defending her right now.”

“I can’t believe you’ve already forgotten what she went through. You saw it firsthand Alex. We’ve talked about this.”

Alex looked away at that. She had seen it first hand and it had been awful. So quickly, she realized she had made a mistake, but there was nothing to do. She had to watch her sister destroy something so incredibly precious to her.

“Alex, I’m not blaming you for what happened. I’m just encouraging you to be more objective.”

“She’s my sister, Maggie. It’s hard to be objective.”

“I know.”

Kara spoke up from the kitchen. “Maggie’s right, Alex. I put Lena through something traumatic. So, it’s completely understandable that she’s upset.”

Kara’s voice cracked, but she cleared her throat and continued, “Where I’m struggling, is that I wasn’t in my own mind. I was influenced by a chemical that changed how my brain worked. _I_ didn’t do anything. Neither did Supergirl. We were both under the influence. And I struggle with the idea that I’ve lost something when _I_ didn’t do anything.”

Kara thread a hand through her hair, keeping it there, and placed a hand on her hip. It was almost as if she was comforting herself. Alex wondered when she picked that mannerism up. Alex wondered how long Kara has been feeling this pain, this twisted guilt.

“I just don’t know how I can change her mind. I don’t know that it’s even possible. She fears me. And even though she says she’s only scared of Supergirl, I know she must be afraid of Kara too.”

Kara’s voice was tight as she spoke, “But I know that she loves me and I know that has to be so confusing for her. I can only imagine loving someone and still fearing them every day. It must be maddening. And Lena is smart, so there’s a part of her in there that knows that she’s being illogical, but fear isn’t logical, it’s emotional.”

The room remained silent after Kara stopped speaking. James and Winn still stood in the kitchen, looking at the floor. Maggie had her hands tangled in Alex’s as they sat on the couch.

Kara laughed bitterly, “Growing up with the Luthors probably didn’t give her much of an opportunity to get past fear.”

Alex turned fully to look at Kara, the Luthor name striking a chord within her. “Do you think she’s a threat because she’s afraid of you?”

Maggie pulled at Alex hand, “Alex..”

“No, this is important. Kara? Do you think she’s a threat?”

Kara shook her head. “No, she wanted to be different from her family. She wanted to make a good name for herself.”

“But that was before she found herself terrified of a super.”

“Alex, she won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do.” Her tone caused Alex to sit back. It was tight and firm. No room was left for discussion. “I know you want to protect me, but she is not an enemy. She is a victim. She won’t come after me.”

Maggie squeezed Alex’s hand, signaling for her to let the topic go. Alex nodded at Kara. The blonde gathered some of her things, bidding everyone a farewell. She cited some articles that she needed to work on as an excuse, but her friends and family saw through it. She needed some time alone to process.

“Thanks for the food, guys.”

She closed the door behind her and made her way upstairs to the roof. Kara looked at the stars and contemplated where her day had gone.

It had gone to tears. She had cried over losing Lena for what felt like the second time. She cried over losing the woman who had charmed her from the moment she laid eyes on her. She was the same woman that had her in the palm of her hand before she even kissed Kara.

Eyes like Kryptonite, they were her weakness. Those green eyes had immediately pierced her, holding her breath in her chest. Those green eyes had commanded her attention, but begged for her affection. Those eyes betrayed every feeling that crossed Lena’s heart. Those eyes had shown her love and adoration, but on that fateful day, Kara, through the haze of Red Kryptonite still recalled their fear.

Kara had never seen them shine brighter, like a sun that was dying, pushing out its last energy, its last hope of providing light to surrounding worlds. She feared that Lena’s light had been extinguished forever, that her drive to bring about change in the world had been crushed by someone who she trusted.

She’d never admit this to Alex, but part of her feared Lena too. This sliver of her heart feared that she had broken Lena so deeply that Lex could reach her. Kara wanted to know that wasn’t true, but through months of seeing Lena shoulders slump and her fire dim, she wasn’t sure that Lena could resist her brother’s pull. After all, he had been right about supers being dangerous to those they vow to protect.

But even as she feared what Lena’s future held, Kara was terrified that she may never forgive herself enough to do anything about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback are always appreciated.


	5. He's Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the impossibly long wait; life has been insane! Anyway, I hope you enjoy. It was a little difficult to get back into the rhythm of writing for this story.

_“Supergirl has been suspiciously quiet over the past few weeks with multiple crimes occurring throughout the city and no intervention. Perhaps the hero has left the citizens of National City behind, as she chooses to spend more time focusing on extraterrestrial threats around the area. Here to speak with us on this development is-”_

Lena clicked the television in her office off. She watched as the image disappeared, leaving only a lump in her stomach. Supergirl had been quiet in recent weeks. There had been little to report on her since her final fallout with Lena. It was almost as if she had disappeared from the city entirely.

Lena didn’t really mind this change. It gave her time to focus on her work and attempt to put Supergirl in her past. Those eyes flashing red still appeared in her dreams, but they were infrequent now. In recent nights, those dangerous eyes had been replaced with blue eyes, crinkled at the corners with a smile. Somehow, those eyes left a weight in her chest, heavier than those that promised danger.

Lena was lounging in her office chair, looking out of the window. She felt unproductive, as if she hadn’t accomplished a single task in weeks. Standing slowly, she moved out onto the balcony, tugging her sweater closer to her frame. A cool breeze ruffled her hair and clothes, prompting a chill to spread throughout her body. Lena ventured out further, allowing her fingers to wrap around the edge.

Her eyes fluttered shut, while she focused on the wind hitting her skin. It made her feel powerful, like the breeze gave her strength and brought her a sense of peace all at once. She listened to the sounds of the city below and wondered if Kara was down there, looking up or if Supergirl was up there, looking down.

She was just about to reenter the office when there was a low rumble, deep within the building. Lena felt the balcony jar beneath her feet as she clutched the balcony rung. The entirety of L-Corp, swayed, causing Lena’s stomach to turn. 

She looked down below, over the edge of the balcony, and saw a thick cloud of smoke, or perhaps debris, billowing out into the street. Broken glass lay scattered and sparkling on the ground below. Onlookers began to scream, some holding their phones out to capture video while others sprinted away.

That’s when Lena heard it. Gunshots. There were lots of rounds being fired off. They were so rapid; the CEO couldn’t even begin to count. The rounds echoed of buildings as the sounds traveled up from the street, amplifying them. Lena hoped the echoes multiplied them as well.

She hurried back into her office and began her emergency security measures. She backed up her computer to an offshore server and wiped her office computer clean. Lena took a thick black permanent marker to every lab report that was currently sitting on her desk, striking out vital details that could give away trade secrets. Her hands began to shake, but she clenched her jaw and continued to scribble away.

Lena heard screams and gunshots approaching her door. Jess crossed her mind for a moment, and panic gripped her heart, but she knew that the secretary had fled. She was a smart woman.

Lena jumped when the door flew open, cracking the translucent glass. Two large, armed gunman entered her office, their weapons trained on her body. She sat calmly, despite every nerve in her body screaming to run, to scream, or to cry. But she held it together, looking at the men for a brief moment more before continuing to strike out more documents.

The men remained still, weapons ready, but not threatening. They appeared to be waiting and they seemed not to care about her destruction of sensitive information. Somehow that was more concerning. Lena would rather have had someone break into her office with the intent to steal from her, than have them break into her office with unclear intentions.

Below, she heard sirens blaring, but she tried to focus on her task at hand. Lena fixated on the squeak of the marker against the paper and the way the darkness of the ink bled into the paper. She couldn’t listen to the emergency vehicles because they always signaled a particular hero.

Despite everything, Lena knew she’d come. The thought left the CEO’s stomach in knots.

But soon, the sound of sirens mingled with the patter of footsteps, approaching the office. Lena allowed her attention to be drawn to the door.

She wasn’t incredibly surprised when Lillian stepped inside her office, but her heart sank when Lex entered right behind her.

Her brother was standing in her office, in the flesh. He was alive and breathing and not the mere caricature that the newspapers had created. He still had a crooked smile and a scar on his chin from when he fainted in the garage as a child. It was actually her brother, not just Lex Luthor.

“Hello Lena.”

She wanted to respond to his words, but her throat remained closed. She barely could breathe, let alone talk.

“That’s alright. You don’t have to say anything.” Lex smiled again. “I like what you’ve done with the place. It’s very sleek and trendy, not really my style, but I like it.”

He turned slightly, admiring the architecture. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the men, with their weapons still trained at Lena.

“For God’s sake mother, call off your dogs.” He turned fully to the men. “Put your weapons down, you idiots. That is my sister!”

Lillian held up a commanding hand.

“Not so fast Lex, don’t be so quick to trust. Your sister is quite cunning.”

“Mother, she is not going to do anything.” Lex smirked. “Not yet at least.”

Lena finally found her voice, “You need to leave. Both of you.”

Lex clapped his hands. “Ah, she speaks! Come on Lena, you don’t actually want me to go! I’ve been in prison. Don’t you want to catch up?”

“How are you even here? How are you out?”

“This is one way to catch up!” He turned to Lillian. “See mother? Your children are making progress.”

Lex stalked over to the desk where Lena sat and gently rested upon it. He was not quite sitting, but almost.

“Well sis, you see… How do I put this? Well, you see, I escaped. Oh don’t look so concerned! It wasn’t too difficult!”

He placed his hand atop hers. She pulled away from the affection, and sat back in her chair. Lex didn’t react.

“You see, the thing about prison is that the institution’s foundation is the notion that brawn will always overpower brain. And you and I both know that infrastructure is flawed.”

Lex smiled again and gestured between Lillian and himself.

“All it took was a little Luthor brain power and the institution crumbled. I assume that’s where your friend is right now. She’s dedicated to saving lives of even the worst criminals, because they’re still people. How honorable.”

“She’s not my friend.”

Lex stared Lena down. “Is that so? Mother seems to have given me poor intel because she seemed to think you two were quite close.”

Lillian scoffed, “She’s lying, Lex.”

Lex continued to stare at Lena, his jaw clenched.

“Oh no, you see, Lena and I don’t lie to each other. Do we, sis?”

Lena stared back, her eyes piercing his. “Only one of us kept that promise.”

“I’m sad that you actually believe that, Lena. I would never lie to you.”

“Then tell me why you’re actually here. I suspect you didn’t break out of prison simply to catch up with your little sister.”

Lex breathed out a laugh and shook his head.

“You’re right. I want to kill Supergirl. I suspect that she’ll be here any minute, unless you aren’t actually friends, of course. And that would be quite disappointing, if you weren’t.”

He beckoned the armed men forward. “Because if you weren’t friends, she might be okay with letting you die so that she could take me down for good. And then we’re both dead. But if she actually cares for you…”

Lex trailed off as the men roughly yanked her from her chair. Lena fought back, pulling against their grip, but it was too strong. Lex approached them, brushing some stray hair out of Lena’s flushed face and letting his hand caress her cheek.

“If Supergirl cares for you, you’re her Kryptonite. And she will come for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback is welcome and appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> As always feedback is welcomed and appreciated. Thanks for reading.


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